wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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