I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
