hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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