That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
