Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
