my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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