all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
