I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
