my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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