Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
