For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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