Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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