tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
