I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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