we have officially lost it.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
