I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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