yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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