I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When are your genitals available?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize