i just google imaged poop.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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