Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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