By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
