he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Still dying that you shit outside
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Randomize
