I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
