I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
