There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
