Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
NoShamevember. You game?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
