Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
