You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
