I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
