oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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