it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize