Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
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the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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