Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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