there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
