I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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