Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
