If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
