Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
