No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
