The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Come on in and take your pants off
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