doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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