The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
