you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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