Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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