Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
