woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
