Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
