just tell him i said nine months
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
