Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
