He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
