Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize