May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
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the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
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I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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