All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
