It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
