pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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