how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
