I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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