these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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