This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
