I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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