2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize